Growing Pains— Follow our blog Miss Transit
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a planner: as a young girl I planned the dates my Barbie and Ken dolls would go on and I always took on the role of “mom” when playing house. During high school I was the event coordinator on ASB and in college I naturally had a calendar of events posted on my door so that my friends and I knew which events we wanted to go to. My life has always been planned and organized, and I loved every minute of it—until planning turned its back on me when I need it the most. (Yes, I am dramatic)..
Life works in mysterious ways, and although I couldn’t agree more, I would still love if my life would have a sound track in the background foretelling my life’s next move and play. For example, why wasn’t Aly & Aj’s Potential Breakup Song playing weeks before I realized I needed to end my first serious relationship? Life might’ve been a bit less stressful at eighteen had I known what was coming. Freshman year of college, I had my whole life planned out. I’d planned on getting engaged to my high school sweetheart at some point in my senior year of college, have the wedding of the year during the following summer, and in time become the best wedding planner apart from David Gutera (cue the laughter). Fast forward to now.
I realize where I am now might have disappointed my naïve eighteen year old self. I’m not married with two children, I don’t have a mortgage, nor do I have my own Bruce, the family English bulldog. Instead, I am currently twenty-three, a bit confused, single, unestablished in a “career-job”, and when I return from my trip abroad, I’ll be financially responsible for myself. So far, I’ve decided growing up sucks.
However, despite not conquering my goals and aspirations yet, I remind myself that I am still young, motivated, and beyond blessed. When I was eighteen, I hadn’t realized that if I’d taken the route I ‘d planned for myself five years ago, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Life is hard sometimes. It’s confusing and it throws you curveballs that you’re not ready for. But through my own experiences, disappointments, hurt, and heartache, I have grown up. I’ve learned the things I once valued as my all, aren’t as important to me any longer. It is the small things that matter most. Growing up is difficult, scary, uncomfortable, and sometimes lonely: but as we get older, we DO get wiser and here are some things I’ve learned along the way:
- Be content with yourself. Take care of yourself and most importantly personify self-love. If you love yourself and value yourself, then others will too.
- Taking care of yourself does not mean you’re being selfish. For the longest time, I thought doing something for myself was selfish and wrong, and now I know there is not a better time to do things for yourself. Do things that make you happy and count your blessings along the way.
- Learn how to say NO and do not feel guilty for doing so. Saying yes to things you don’t want to commit to only leads to disappointments, frustrations, and even resentments.
- Do not over commit yourself. Just because you think you can do everything doesn’t mean you should.
- Hold yourself accountable and do not participate in the “blame game”. Remember we are human, and will mess up - A LOT. So when you do, own up to your wrongs, learn to forgive yourself and others, and apologize for your own mistakes.
- Learn to ask for help and lean on others. Do not let your pride or ego get in the way.
- Get rid of the people in your life who are negative and bring you down. As much as I hated the saying, “you’re the company you keep,” the older you get your realize how true that statement is. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals and friends who want the best for you and are happy when you succeed.
- Love your family unconditionally. You may not get along with your family everyday or want to see them at all times, but remember they are a part of you, love you, and will always have your back.
- Do not compare yourself to others. This is personally the hardest one for me. I often compare myself to other girls & boys my age who seem to have their lives all figured out. But in reality we all have our own journey and need to accomplish our own milestones at our own pace.
- Set up boundaries. It’s unhealthy to not have personal boundaries, so figure out what boundaries you need to put up in order to find time for yourself and to create healthier relationships.
- Learn to love. This is by far my favorite. I love that I tend to be more optimistic, and that I have experienced both love and hurt. But I think one of the greatest accomplishments we can do, is despite being hurt, find a way to love again. Learn to give love another opportunity, because no matter the outcome, love teaches a multitude of things, and each time you grow and learn more and more.